Kutheni Silindile?

Kuluvo lwam lokuthumela, ‘Kungani UNkulunkulu Fihla,’ Judy (umfazi wam, eneneni) yaphawula oko, “kusenokufuneka ubuze, funa kwaye unkqonkqoze ixesha elide phambi kokuba umnyango uvuleke kuba kufuneka ulungele ukwamkela kwaye wenze xa luvuleka.”

Abantu abaninzi abakhe bafuna uThixo banokucinga ngamaxesha apho baye bakhala khona, “Ukuba ukhona, kutheni ungandibonisi? Ndilapha kwaye ndifuna ukwazi!” Kwaye akukho nto yenzekileyo. Hayi kanye; hayi kabini; hayi nje okwemizuzu embalwa: kodwa ngamanye amaxesha ixesha elide kangangokuba ulibale ukuba ukhe wabuza.

Iimpendulo ezimbini zesitokhwe kulo mbuzo zi, “Kuba awukalungeli,” yaye, “Ngenxa yokuba awunyanisekanga ngokwenene.” Kodwa abo babuzayo baya kuphendula ngokufuthi, “Awuyazi ukuba bendikulungele kangakanani kwaye bendifuna ukwazi kangakanani.” Kwaye yinyani leyo. Abantu badla ngokukhala kuThixo ngamaxesha okubandezeleka okukhulu; kwaye ihlala ikwenza oko ngenzondelelo kunye nokulungela ukutshintsha okuya nzulu kakhulu kunayo nantoni na abakhe bayiva ngaphambili.. Ukanti uThixo akasoloko ebonakala xa sicinga ukuba ufanele. Kwaye akubonakali kulungile. Ngoko kutheni?

Imiba ephambili apha lixesha, utshintsho kunye nohlobo lokukhetha. Kwiinkalo ezithile uThixo nabantu bahluke kakhulu. UThixo ungunaphakade: Ebesoloko ekho yaye usenjalo. Thina, kwelinye icala bayaqala nje indlela yokuba ngowanaphakade (yiyo i, ukuba uyakholelwa kubomi emva kokufa: ukuba akukho njalo, sikwindlela emfutshane kakhulu ukusuka ekulibaleni ukuya ekulibaleni). Indlela esilijonga ngayo ixesha isekelwe kwinto esiye sadibana nayo ngalo ukuza kuthi ga ngoku. Ndikhumbula ndisengumntwana ndizibuza enoba ndandiza kuba ngumntu omkhulu kusini na, kwaye ndisothuswa kukucinga ukuba kuya kuthatha ixesha elingakanani de kufike usuku lwam lokuzalwa olulandelayo. Ngoku, kwiminyaka yobudala 67, Ndothuswe sisantya seenyanga, iminyaka kwaye kwanamashumi eminyaka ibonakala idlula. Ngokwembono Yakhe, UThixo umele abe nesimo sengqondo sokuyekelela kakhulu kwixesha… (Ndaqala ukuya kuqikelelo lwefilosofi malunga nobume bexesha ngeli xesha: kodwa ngokukhawuleza ndaqonda ukuba ndiya kude kakhulu nesihloko. Ngelinye ixesha, ingayiyo.)

Inqaku elilandelayo kukuba ukuhamba kwexesha kutshintsha iimbono zethu kwaye kuyasitshintsha. Xa uThixo ejonga ubomi bethu, uyayibona into yethu edlulileyo, langoku kunye nekamva njengenkqubo epheleleyo, esiye sakhula ngayo ukusuka kwiseli enye encinci ukuya kumntu onzima ngokumangalisayo ofunda lo myalezo ukuya phambili kwikamva elingaziwa kuthi.. Thina, kwelinye icala, uhlala ‘ngoku’ yaye, ngokwemvelo ukuthetha, sineenkumbulo zethu kuphela kunye nokuqiqa kwethu namandla okuxela kwangaphambili ukusikhokela. Andinguye laa mntu ndandinguye ndisemtsha; yaye andikabi ngulo mntu ndingathanda ukuba nguye okanye umntu ebendinokuba nguye (ukuba ndenza ukhetho olungalunganga, ukunikezela kwiingcinezelo ezingafanelekanga kwixa elizayo endingekayiboni). Ngoko xa ndisitsho, “Ndikulungele,” “Ndinyanisekile,” – ngokulinganayo, “Ndiyakuthanda,” – Ndiyathetha kuphela, “… xa kuthelekiswa nendlela endandiziva ngayo ngaphambili noko ndikubonayo kwangaphambili oko kuzayo.

Oku kundizisa kwingongoma yam yesithathu, uhlobo lokhetho lomntu. Akukho nalunye kukhetho lwethu oluyimicimbi yephanyazo. Olunye ukhetho lwe-reflex,’ njengokudada ukuphepha into eza kukubetha ebusweni, zikhawuleza kangangokuba azibandakanyi ixesha lokucinga lokwenyani kwicala lethu. Kodwa uninzi, kwanaleyo ibizwa ngokuba 'yi-snap’ izigqibo, Ayizoziphumo zengcinga yomzuzu omnye kakhulu njengendawo yokuncamisa yenkqubo ende yexabiso kunye nokwakhiwa kwesigwebo.. Zimbalwa kakhulu izigqibo zethu ezisithatha ngoko nangoko kwaye ngokungenakubuyiseka kwinqaku lokungabuyi. Kwiimeko ezininzi kufuneka sithathe isigqibo ngekhondo lesenzo kwaye emva koko sizingise kweso sigqibo ixesha elide elaneleyo lokuzisa utshintsho olufunekayo.. Ukuzingisa kweso sigqibo kuyasitshintsha thina neemeko zethu; njengokuba naye akazingisanga okanye azibekel’ amangomso.

Bendisoloko ndiyinqwenela loo nto, mhla ndanikela ngobomi bam kuYesu, ibinokuba kukuphela kwalo mcimbi. Ukuba ukususela ngoko ukuya phambili ngendingasenawo umnqweno wokwenza ‘into yam’ endaweni kaThixo, kwaye akukho loyiko lokuba umntu unokuze acinge ntoni na ngam okanye enze kum ngenxa yeso sigqibo. Kodwa akunjalo. Nangona eso sigqibo sesona sigqibo sikhulu sobomi bam eso, ukujonga ngasemva, Andizange ndizisole nakanye, Ndisacelwa umngeni mihla le ngenxa yeziphumo zokuyilandela. Kwaye ndihlala ndisilela. Ndisafunda ukuzilungiselela ngakumbi, ukulungele kwaye ulambele ubuhlobo obusondeleyo noThixo kunangaphambili.

Xa sixelela uThixo ukuba silungile kwaye sifuna ngokwenene ukwazi, sithetha ngokwembono yethu elinganiselweyo. Kodwa uThixo uyabona ukuba izigqibo zethu ziya kufuna ntoni kuthi – nendlela esilunge ngayo ngokwenene – ngokucacileyo ngakumbi kunathi. Ufuna siphumelele: kodwa uyazi ukuba ngamanye amaxesha ngamava okuphoxeka kunye nokusilela okuya kuthi ekugqibeleni kusiqhubele kwimpumelelo enkulu. Ke, njengoko uJudy waphawulayo, unokufuna ngokwenene “buza, funani ninkqonkqoze ixesha elide phambi kokuba kuvulwe ucango;” ngokuba uThixo uyazi, ngcono kunawe, yeyiphi imiceli mngeni ekufuneka ukulungele ukujamelana nayo xa isenzeka.

Iindinyana zokucamngca: John 13:33-38&14:1-9, 21:15-19.